By: Shara Orr
August 23, 2019, I laid my eyes for the first time on the mighty wonder that is the Grand Canyon. It was massive. I was awestruck. As I stood at the mouth of the South Rim, I struggled to comprehend the sheer vastness of it all. I struggled to comprehend how, tomorrow, I was going to run (… ok, slow run…. fast hike… maybe crawl?) from the South Rim to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon in one day! Maybe ‘struggled’ isn’t the right word… ‘panicked’? That’s it, I panicked! I thought, “HOW was I going to do this?!” It’s over 40 km in 40 degree temperatures! I thought, “I CAN’T do this!” 5000 feet of descent and 6000 feet of ascent! I thought, “WHO do I think I am?!” And that’s when I remembered… I am Ruth Ann Orr’s daughter! That’s who I am! “And I CAN do this! And I WILL do this!” The nerves persisted but excitement took over. I felt excitement about what I was about to attempt. Excitement about honouring my Mum. Excitement about what I was about to experience. Excitement about my future.
How did I get here? April 21, 2019 an ‘acquaintance’ (from high school), who has since become a dear friend, reached out to me on social media. And it read:
“Been thinking about you non stop and the goals you have achieved with fitness. We are hiking/running the Grand Canyon in August. Why don’t you join? I think it would be right in line with your fitness goals. Think about it and give me a buzz if you are interested. Seems insane… but I truly believe given what you have accomplished so far – you can do it.”
My heart was so touched that someone from the periphery of my life was such a cheerleader and believer in me. You see, in January 2018 I decided to change my life for the better. I decided to choose a healthier lifestyle and set a goal to lose 100 lbs. One of my closest friends had suffered a stroke January 18th – we are the same age and I was extremely overweight. Her stroke terrified me… I knew that I was very fortunate to be as overweight as I was, at the age I was (42 yrs) and not have any major health issues…. yet. But I knew it was only a matter of time. So I changed my life. I made incremental changes that aligned with a lifestyle I could maintain. To date, I’ve lost 93 lbs. Although it’s not about the number, it’s the easiest gauge or measure. More important than the number on the scale, I’m the happiest, healthiest and fittest I’ve been in my life and I feel amazing.
When I inquired further with my friend, she directed me to the Run2Revive website. I started at “Why We Run”. It read:
“To Fight Alzheimer’s & ALS
Run2Revive was founded with an ultimate goal of ending both Alzheimer’s and ALS disease - two devastating neurodegenerative disorders that threaten to take our mind and body from us….”
I thought, “WOW… this hits home for me!”
On November 17, 2018, my amazing Mum took her last breath after a seven year battle with Alzheimer’s. She was only 70 years old when she passed away. My mum was amazingly vibrant, caring, funny, tenacious and intelligent. Alzheimer’s took all of that away from her. The disease left her immobile, non-communicative and often sad and scared. Until I walked this journey with my Mum I had no idea how horrible this disease truly is.
I read on...
“To Inspire You to Reach New Limits
At Run2Revive, we believe in pushing the limits of what is possible. We CHALLENGE those not affected by Alzheimer's or ALS to move beyond perceived limits in acknowledgment of the strength and courage shown by those that face these diseases.“
I thought, “WOW… this hits home for me!”
My health and fitness journey had me pushing limits, setting and accomplishing goals that I never thought possible. After years of being overweight and out of shape, I had become conditioned to doubt myself and tell myself, “You can’t do that. You’re too big. You’re not fit enough. You’ll embarrass yourself.” I’d felt a shift in the last year and a half. I realized it didn’t have to be that way. I wasn’t bound by the limits I placed on myself. I’ve realized that I’m not defined by my past or current state - I’m defined by the progress I’m committed to making - the forward momentum.
And I read on...:
“To Promote the Importance of Mind & Body Wellness
We vow to never take our mind or our body for granted. We want to encourage others to live a healthy, more fulfilled lifestyle.”
I thought, “WOW… this hits home for me!” (Are you sensing a pattern?)
The feelings of empowerment I have experienced over the past year and a half have got me so excited for my future. I look at what I’ve accomplished in a very short time and I can’t wait to see what’s in store. I spent 20 years of my life being overweight and not letting myself experience all the things I wanted to. I am not going back there… I am blessed with a healthy and strong mind and body and I will not take that for granted again.
At this point it was clear to me… I SHOULD do the Run2Revive Rim2Rim challenge. It’s like it was meant for ME. But COULD I do this? To date, my longest walk/run had been 10 km. A rim to rim trek across the Grand Canyon terrified me… and excited me. To which I thought, “Well that’s just the makings for a great goal! Let’s do it!”
The next three and a half months was a blur of hiking, running, biking, stairs, trails, squats, lunges, blisters, injuries and illnesses. And A LOT of smiles. I loved it. I was doing things I never thought I’d be capable of and ENJOYING myself while doing them. WHO WAS THIS GIRL?? I didn’t know where she’d been all my life, but I LOVED HER!
Heading into this challenge, I still struggled with self-doubt. The amazing group of 5 (“Team Canada”) that I set out to tackle this trek with are a group of formidable athletes - they are national level, competitive athletes and marathoners. I was outside my demographic with this group - but the amount of support, encouragement and inclusiveness I received from them was something that moved me to tears. They understood the immensity of the challenge ahead… and they believed in me. At times when I didn’t believe in myself. I’m filled with gratitude to this group and blessed to now call them dear friends. Claire, Mark, Sarah, Elizabeth and Cole… Thank you.
So that brings me back to August 23rd, as I looked out across the Grand Canyon and the immensity of the task ahead of me. I was nervous, scared and incredibly excited. I knew I had trained hard, prepared well and in my heart, I KNEW I was going to do it! Tears of astonishment and excitement spilled from my eyes.
Early Saturday morning - GO TIME! As we made our way to the South Kaibab trailhead, I remembered the goals I had set for myself (in this order):
Complete the rim to rim trek safely and uninjured
ENJOY myself - allow myself to truly take in the experience
Complete the rim to rim in 9.5 hours
My focus was on safety and enjoyment… time was much less important to me. It had to be, in order to accomplish goals 1 & 2.
As we set off down South Kaibab trail, my body felt shaky with nervous excitement. IT’S HAPPENING! I’M DOING THIS!
Our group quickly dispersed and similarly paced members fell in with one another. I was at the back of the pack and was fortunate enough to have my dear friend Claire (who got me into this mess!) and Rob Burns from Run2Revive by my side for the entire trek. The experience these two possess, coupled with their supportive and encouraging nature was truly a blessing for me.
As we made our way down the winding trail into the bottom of the canyon, I couldn’t help but think how insignificant I was in comparison to this massive wonder I was descending. But I realized I’m not insignificant… what I (we) are doing is quite significant. Similarly, when thinking about the quest to find cures for Alzheimer’s & ALS, it seems like a massive, unbelievable undertaking. But our team of six was able to raise nearly $15,000 to go towards research for a cure. While $15,000 isn’t a lot of money in research terms, we are just a few of many contributing to this cause. It’s progress, it’s incremental, it’s forward momentum, it’s precisely what is needed to affect change. I know this from my own personal journey. Big changes come from a series of minor and mindful shifts.
By the time we reached Phantom Ranch at the bottom of the canyon, I thought, naively confident, “OK. That wasn’t so bad!” Although I was starting to feel the heat of the sun beating down on me, physically I still felt pretty good. And mentally, I felt pretty damn great. “I’M DOING THIS!” We had a short rest, snack and refilled our water packs at Phantom Ranch. Then we were back on the move, beginning the long stretch through the bottom of the canyon.
My naive confidence quickly evaporated as we travelled the long, hot, exposed stretch through the bottom of the canyon. I began to feel chills and my body was covered in goosebumps. “This can’t be good”, I thought. Then the nausea set in. The heat was unrelenting, temperatures were in the mid-40s and there was nowhere to escape into the shade. I just had to keep going. Claire and Rob assured me Cottonwood is just around the corner. We will find shade and rest there”. LIES. Cottonwood was not around the corner, or the next, or the next. Ok, my pals weren’t lying to me… they were experiencing ‘trail amnesia’. It’s common… and it’s awful.
On our quest to Cottonwood, we came across a stream, which I promptly laid myself in. It was a glorious relief and I could have stayed there for hours. But, the BATS! Yes, BATS… 3 of them began swooping and diving at us. We had to keep moving. Cottonwood… ‘just around the corner’.
What I expected to be the least challenging stretch, proved to be the most challenging, for me. Although I knew I’d trained hard and thought I was well-prepared, I realized that nothing can truly prepare you for this journey. The one big question I had going into this was how I would tolerate the heat.
Question answered - not well. By the time I’d realized the answer, I had no choice but to persevere and push on. One step at a time.
During this time, I had a lot of internal conversations with my Mum. “Mum, please give me strength to keep going! I need you. Help me.” While I always feel as though my mum is with me, this day was special. I had brought with me a small camera film canister filled with her ashes. I brought Mum along with me for this epic journey. “I’m doing this FOR YOU, Mumma”.
As I grew wearier, I could hear her voice in my head, “Lip up and get ‘er done, Shara!” It was my Mum’s opinion that lipstick ALWAYS made you feel better... she called it ’Lipping Up‘. So I pulled out my Blistex (definitely not what she had in mind), ‘lipped up’ and kept going… one foot in front of the other. From an early age, my mum’s life was submerged in adversity - abandoned by her mother, left to be raised by an alcoholic father, who died when she was 16 years old, and then cast into the foster care system. As I grew older and considered my Mum’s experiences, I admired that she was not jaded by these experiences and didn’t see herself as a victim - she was resilient, she was strong. She pressed forward, raised a beautiful family, established a successful career and made many lasting contributions to her community. I truly look up to her and hope I can be half the woman she was. Her resilience and strength is what I needed to draw on at this point in my journey - I had to bounce back from where I was and find the strength to push forward.
COTTONWOOD! We arrived, found some shade, draped soaking wet buffs over my face, neck and shoulders and I laid down. With coaxing from Rob & Claire, I struggled to eat a snack before we set back on the trail, knowing I had a 6000 foot climb to the North Rim. As we prepared to depart, Claire grabbed me firmly by my shoulders, looked deep into my eyes and said, “You need to get out of your own head. You can do this. You’re going to do this”. I knew she was right… on all accounts. I could hear my mum, ”You got this girl… Lip Up!“ and I could see her beautiful smile beaming at me with pride. She’s with me. And I put on more Blistex.
During the ascent to the North Rim, the altitude frequently had me short of breath during the seemingly never-ending switch-backs leading us up. I’d take a short pause, catch my breath and keep moving forward. Instead of focussing on the ultimate destination and how far that may be, I remained focussed on reaching the top of each switch-back. I realized this is a strategy that’s helped me in my weight-loss journey. Rather than focussing on the daunting task of losing 100 lbs, I chose to focus on 10 lb increments and rewarded myself at each one of those milestones. Similarly, on the climb, I focussed on the top of each switch-back and rewarded myself with a moment to catch my breath and have a sip of water before continuing up the next switch-back. It was a strategy that was working for me so I kept with it.
What surprised me most about the canyon was the sheer beauty of it all. I’d heard from others that had visited (mostly perched on the rim) that it was incredibly beautiful. When I heard these accounts, I would smile and nod but silently I thought, “I live on Vancouver Island. I’m surrounded by the beauty of the ocean, mountains and forests everyday. How can a desert canyon be ‘beautiful’?” Well, I’m here to tell you, it’s BEAUTIFUL! The pictures do not do it justice. I feel so fortunate to have seen so much of this stunning natural wonder. I allowed myself a lot of time to pause and take it all in and I’m so grateful I did that. I was completely awe-struck by the beauty of the multitude of views and landscapes. It’s stunning.
During our climb to the North Rim, we crossed a bridge at a particularly beautiful spot, surrounded by deep red rock walls peppered with lush green flora. It was truly breathtaking. I took the opportunity to pause on this bridge and spend a few minutes of solitude to chat with my Mum. It was a beautiful and significant time for me. I opened the canister I’d been carrying on the journey and sprinkled some of Mum’s ashes from the bridge. I know she’d appreciate this stunning view. “Thank you for everything you are to me, Mumma. I love you”
Keep pushing on… up, up, up. We were now trudging through a fine, dusty sand - not the easiest to move through but I keep pushing on. When we reached Coconino Overlook, Rob let me know this was a significant milestone. The last water refill station before the North Kaibab trailhead. YES! That must mean we are CLOSE-ish? Keep pushing on… up, up, up.
I kept focussing on the top of each switch-back. At one point, Rob reached the top of the switch-back and yelled down to me, “We’re getting close! Maybe another mile!” I thought, “YESSSS!!! We are close! Another mile… I can do another mile!”
As I reached the spot that Rob had called down from, I realized he was lying (more lies!). But this time it was a good lie. As I turned the corner, I saw Rob had run up to the trailhead and had begun recording…. this was the END! YESSSS!!!! I powered up that last piece of trail with everything I had… Claire right by my side. The emotions were flooding over me and I was trying to choke back tears as I neared the end of this epic journey. As I reached the top, I heard Rob’s voice exclaim, “AND THAT IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO COMPLETE THE GRAND CANYON - RIM to RIM!” I’d never been prouder of myself than in that moment. Every time I think of this moment, I’m overcome with tears.
This experience exceeded my every expectation and deeply affected me on mental, physical and emotional levels. I have a much deeper understanding of myself and a new-found admiration for myself. I owe a great deal of thanks to Rob Burns, “Team Canada” and my husband, Lucas. Without all of you, this wouldn’t be a reality.
I can’t wait to do it again… next year, Rim2Rim2Rim over 2 days. But not in August!!!
